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Single Dads Discrimination by Benefits Agency

Matthäus Huber B.Sc.Education

Email: matthaeus_aloski@btinternet.com B.Sc.Education

(This applies to all Fathers, Single, Separated or Divorced who are on Benefit)

Fathers, constantly denigrated and discriminated against, often find themselves in very difficult situations - and despite the impressive publicity and "services" for "children and families" they are usually excluded from any help.

This, as described below, is my situation.

I would appreciate anyone's help for my children in this situation.

I am on incapacity benefit, receiving 74.30 weekly for all my living cost except rent.

From this I have to pay weekly £ 20 towards housing benefit for my small one bedroom flat to a private landlady, so I am left with 54.30 > £ 54.30 weekly.

Summary of a typical weekend without any special expenses - as father of two children.

£ 36 pounds

My weekly “spending power” for the whole week is £ 54.30 minus £36.00

My "spending power" for a whole week is £ 18.30

And these £ 18.30 weekly must cover absolutely everything !!

For confirmation please contact the benefit agency in Barking and the housing benefit office in Dagenham, Stour Road; I do authorize you to do so. My national insurance number is JC 95 84 93 B

In the past I was living in central London and looking after our children on four days a week. I spent alone on travel cost to pick the children up and return them £ 22.40 weekly from the £ 54.30. I’ve got a whole stack of day-travel cards as souvenir. Each one costing £ 5.60. For confirmation of “contact” details please see the letter from my previous housing association, alternatively I can mail a copy of the court order.
It was a difficult time, ferrying the 3 and 6 year old backwards and forwards often twice a day, the return journey taking up three hours together on public transport, busses and underground.

Often I stayed with them in the area where their mother lives and entertained them in parks and streets. Sometimes it was raining. We did sit down occasionally in a café, which of course involved money too.

I do have other cost due to being father of two children but not recognized as such by the authorities. For all purposes I am considered a single person with no children. There still are court hearings. The next one will be in June 2005. I have to make a monthly contribution to Legal Aid of £15 otherwise my solicitor will not show up. [Legal Aid yet again has forwarded £ 2500 money to my solicitors. I don’t have a clue what this is wasted on as communication with the legal firm is nil. It seems to be a hit and run business. Go and pick up the money and run].

Where do I take the monthly £15 pounds from? It seems a ridiculous sum, but …every penny counts.. Oh, the day travel card for the court hearing will cost me another tenner. .. and travelling to the solicitors’ office … and may be travelling to see the Cafcass woman in her office. [Cafcass is involved].

The last weekend:

I had our two boys, as usually, over the weekend, all Friday and Saturday; there was no school on Friday.  They used to go through my pockets and bag for toys but they now know they are usually empty.

We first, in the morning went to a local park where they often go with my wife, their mum and they took their bike and tricycle along.

As usual, every day of “contact” means I need to buy a bus travel card, £ 3.00. Though I have moved close to where the children live, walking back and forth to my place would be too much for the children.

After the park, on the way to the bus we passed a charity shop. I went inside and looked. There was a very nice table with four chairs, which would be ideal for the children’s room. [I am moving as I’ve been given notice by the landlady]. It would cost me £ 40 .. but it was already “on hold” so I abandoned. For the new flat I will need a bed for the children. At present we all are sleeping all three on the floor on a big mattress which at some time I found in the street. It was wet and dirty, I just cleaned it and it serves the purpose.

I probably will settle first for a plastic garden table for the kitchen, which someone has thrown out for rubbish collection in our street.

I had to pay last week £35 pounds for a credit check for the new landlord. [ I do not have a contract yet].

I need to talk with my bank manager to see whether she authorizes that I further overdraw my account to be able to pay a deposit for the new flat. Oh! And overdrawing means financial penalty, paying high interest.

In the charity shop they had toys and after much negotiating and refusing this and that I settled with the boys  for a big box “Parking Garage”. £ 4.50. New it probably was something like 20.

And there was a very educational toy, a small box with twelve cubes with a the part of a scene of fairy tales on each side. And pictures of the six scenes you can produce. The cubes in the right positions reproduce the six scenes. It can be quite challenging. £ 1.50. Oskar was thrilled with it and we played a couple of hours with it later at home. It is excellent to help him verbalize and use new vocabulary correctly apart from the challenge to recompose the scenes.

Next to the Charity shop there was a café and the boys were thirsty and hungry. So we entered and they had a juice and a toast each [I had nothing]. A further £ 3.20. They still were hungry but I said we are going to take the bus and eat at my place.

Lunch and playing at my place. Oh, I need to have something in the fridge each time they come. A whole chicken usually lasts for quite a time. And they should be vegetables and fruit. Luckily Asda is close by.

Later we went to the park. At six they had to be back at their mum as she takes them to an evangelical church I am not allowed in as the women there only deal with mums as they are the "residential parent" and therefore have sole authority in all educational matter

"Can the government explain why?"

So while the boys are there I have an hour’s and a half to wait in the street. I usually sit down in a café for a coffee. Another £ 1.00. The local library to wait there is already closed at this time. Then we, as usually returned to my place.

The boys stay – at present once a week- overnight. Alex wants to print out things on the PC but I don’t allow it always as the cartridge will be empty at some time.

I still haven’t bought toothbrushes for the boys. I just delay it from week to week.

I never take any pictures of them as I can’t afford it.

On Saturday we went to the swimming pool. As usually, I needed a day bus-travel card for £3.00. The entrance was around £ 8.00 for the three of us. As I do not have a child-benefit book I am exempt from reductions. Maybe I should pay the annual membership card which would reduce entrance fee each time I take the children there. But where would I take £ 76 for a membership card from?

The mother doesn’t like covered swimming pools so she doesn’t go there with the boys.

The boys like using the PC and in the past I have bought expensive educational software and CDs, especially CDs in Spanish [the children’s mother-tongue] and German [the children’s father-tongue]. With them they’ve made considerably progress in their family languages.

I do record children’s TV programs in their languages for them to help them. [though I disapprove of TV consumption]. Oh! I am moving. To still receive programs in their languages for them I have to pay someone to mount and install the satellite dish. They do like watching TV in the language their father speaks and the language their mother speaks, it help them a bit with vocabulary too, though most children’s TV programs consist more of noises than language.

I did take food and drinks along to the swimming pool. After the three hours in the swimming pool we crossed a MacDonald [hate fast food, junk food places]. I had seen special publicity, special offer: A double cheeseburger for £0.99. So I did authorize this and had one myself. Well, another £ 3.00 As so often I asked for tap water to drink. Some places refuse this “for health reasons”.

As the “parking garage” did not contain any cars, Alex wanted to buy some. I promised I will look around in charity shops during the week and he will have some next time. Instead I allowed him to buy a tiny puzzle for £ 0.80.

Summary of a typical weekend without any special expenses:

Summary of a typical weekend without any special expenses - as father of two children.

£ 36 pounds

My weekly “spending power” for the whole week is £ 54.30 minus £36.00

My "spending power" for a whole week is £ 18.30

And these £ 18.30 weekly must cover absolutely everything !!

I assume I will have the children half the summer holidays. How do I finance entertaining them? Even trivialities and most basic things do cost money. Being able to buy a roll of film and pay for the development of photos would be quite nice. I haven’t taken any pictures of them for a year.

So without anything special I spent about £ 36 pounds.

I am moving flat. The new flat is unfurnished. …. Well, how do I manage. I’ve already warned the children that “at the beginning” the flat will be “not so nice”…. i.e. no furniture, ect.

There are free events for children. School usually inform parents about it. As father, as usually I am not in the “circuit”, i.e. I do not receive the information.

Occasionally there are reductions for children condition: you present the children’s child-benefit book which is a “passport” to further reductions. I do not receive child-benefit hence exclusion from any other reductions.

I believe it is not necessary to enter into further details as you can imagine my situation.

A long time ago I contacted parents online and asked them for help and advise. The answer was I should spend less time with our children if I can’t afford it! I was appalled!

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you wish any further details or information or discuss any matters.

Looking forward to a prompt answer in this very distressing and frequent situation for "children and families"

         Could the Benefits Agency please help and advise me AND explain why?

1. I am being considered by the state authorities and "agencies" for all purposes as single person without children as long as I am unemployed and dependant on help [don't forget you took my tax while I was working] - and getting none for our children, and why and how it comes that as soon as I find gainful employment, I am considered by your state agencies as father of two children?

Aren't they contradicting themselves very grossly?

2. Do they understand by "children and families" "mothers and children" exclusively, excluding the other half of the adult population or do you include the children's father and how does this show?

Matthäus Huber matthaeus_aloski@btinternet.com
B.Sc.Education