Welsh children denied access to grandparents
Mar 19 2008 by Rhodri Clark,
Western Mail
AROUND 50,000 Welsh children may be being denied access to their grandparents
because of the breakdown of family relationships, new figures reveal.
Family solicitors say many grandparents accept the loss as a fact of life,
without realising they can take steps to try to establish contact.
For most children in Wales, spending time with granny or grandad is a basic
and enriching part of growing up.
It is estimated that nearly two thirds of all childcare is now provided by
grandparents, who are therefore estimated to save more than £250m every year
in Wales.
The figures, from Age Concern and the Grandparents’ Association, illustrate
the big disparity between Wales’ army of hands-on grandparents, and the many
people barred from seeing their grandchildren.
The most common reason for loss of contact is breakdown of the parents’
relationship.
Tensions between parents and their own parents or parents-in-law can also
prevent children meeting their grandparents.
Distance is another obstacle for some families, with many parents having found
work hundreds of miles from childhood homes.
“The statistics are very worrying,” said Kate Edwards, a solicitor with
Cardiff-based Wendy Hopkins Family Law Practice. “And from our experience, the
numbers appear to be on the increase.
“While grandparents who are denied access to their grandchildren must feel
hurt and angry, the fact remains that legally grandparents are not
automatically guaranteed any rights to their grandchildren.
“But there are a number of positive things that grandparents can do to best
assure that they will be allowed to develop relationships with their
grandchildren.
“Parents mostly keep their children away from their own parents due to
conflicts that exist between the adults. The breakdown of a marriage or
long-term partnership can be upsetting for all concerned, but for grandparents
it can be even more so if contact with grandchildren is denied.
“Loss of contact tends to happen when grandparents get stuck in the middle of
a dispute between the parents, but occasionally it happens when, say, the
daughter has had an argument with her parents.”
Ms Edwards recently conducted research with a group of retired people in
Rhondda who had no access to their grandchildren – and had no idea what they
could do about it.
Michael Phillips, of Age Concern Cymru, said, “It’s a great shame that so many
children in Wales are denied access to their grandparents. Many children see
their grandparents as friends, or even confidantes.
“Grandparents can contribute financially, their expertise and their life
experiences, all of which can help children develop in an increasingly
difficult world.”
Distance prevented some children seeing their grandparents. And with many
adults having children later in life, some grandparents could be too old to
travel long distances easily.
“A lot of people are leaving the areas in which they grew up to find work, so
families are spread further apart,” he said. “For older grandparents, the
mobility issues can start to take effect.
“Younger grandparents, in their 60s, could have less time to visit
grandchildren because they’re looking after their parents, who are in their
90s.”
Ros Williams, from the Ogmore Valley, near Bridgend, said her close
relationship with her granddaughter Alex, aged two, benefited all in the
family.
“Life is very timetabled and structured for parents. Grandparents have that
little bit of time to chill out,” said Mrs Williams, 58.
“I’m helping my family by looking after her now and again, but on the other
hand I’m getting something out of this.
“All people want to be needed. Alex fits that role very well for me, after I
got to the point where my four children didn’t need me.
“I’ve got younger people in my life. They keep me young.”
What grandparents can do
Cardiff lawyer Kate Edwards, of Wendy Hopkins Family Law Practice, has the
following advice for grandparents seeking to establish contact with a
grandchild. Write to whichever parent is withholding contact, usually the
child’s mother.
Tell the mother or father how much you miss seeing your grandchild, and that
your grandchild will miss you.
If the parents are separated, point out that the child has effectively lost
one parent and a further loss is imposed on the child by denying them a
relationship with grandparents.
You can also point out that the parent is effectively denying the child a
relationship with relatives representing half of their genetic origin and half
of their identity.
If the parent is unresponsive, see what mediation services are available
locally. If mediation is possible, suggest this to the parent.
The last resort is an application to the court. You can then apply for leave
to apply for a contact order, followed by a substantive contact application.
In any discussions, don’t complain about your loss of contact but emphasise
the child’s welfare as the priority. This is the approach the court will take
http://icwales.icnetwork.co.uk
P4p Comment:
This article points Grandparents to apply to a family court and waste
thousands of pounds on unscrupulous solicitors where there is no guarantee
that they will have access to their loved ones at the end of lengthy and
expensive court proceedings. To a court without any proper accounts? To a
court that has carried out no proper research? To a court shrouded in secrecy
without any proper scrutiny by the public or the press? To a court without any
individual accountability? To a court where we don't even know if the
decisions they are making are the right ones for families and our children?
What a good job the family court is doing? Families deserve better and I
believe its time to in this the 21st century to abolish these secret courts as
they are directly responsible for the irreparable damage being done to our
society and more importantly to our children and our Grandchildren.
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